Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
