the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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