I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
