I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
