I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
