My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
