It's Friday. Sex?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
