I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I want to be your penis for a week.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
