check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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