The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
