just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
