New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
