Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
