k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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