i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
