i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Sober January is a disaster.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
