did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I didn't notice because vodka
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
