I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
