I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
