Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
