Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
