I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
