I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
