screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
