who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you never un-have a 4some
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
