Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
