forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
