last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
