I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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