I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Randomize
