I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
