does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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