I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
