Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
