So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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