last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
