apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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