my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
