I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
