So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
