I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
