There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
