He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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