At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
