how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dear god my vagina.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
