i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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