the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
