Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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