so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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