He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
