while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
