haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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